My dearest,
It has been far too long since I have gazed upon your face. Do you have to avoid me as you do?I understand you are angered over this business with Peter and with the church but don’t you see I have as little choice in this matter as you? We both have our places in this world and they are not as easily dissolved as your heretics seem to think. It will be all sorted soon, my love.
Write soon,
Yours, Simon
Dearest,
I have heard through my acquaintances in the south that you have been excommunicated. My love, what have you got yourself involved with? All for the sake of a few heretics and love for Occitania? They will not save you, my dear. But I could, with my influence over the church. Just give me the word.
Write soon, please
Yours, Simon
Dearest,
The Pope’s word is that you should remain uncontacted as I am sure you know, but somehow I can’t bring myself to remain silent. The word in the Midi is of a crusade, against you and the heretics. Give yourself in now and I’m sure this nasty business will be forgiven. I couldn’t bear to see you die out of misguided loyalty. Raymond, I [illegible]
Write to me, please.
Yours, Simon
Dearest
Write back to me, please. A word is all I need to know you’re alive. We were friends once, weren’t we? Do not let this war blind you to that memory. It will make enemies of us yet.
Yours, Simon
Love,
They are asking me to lead. This could be my chance to get everything I have ever wanted. I would trade it in for a heartbeat to get you safe and unbroken and returned to me. I would suffer hell and gladly for one last moment with you. Write soon before I am forced to choice the other option. Yours,
Your beloved Simon
Dearest
I don’t know how much more of this war I can take.
Simon
My love,
The worst thing in all of this is that if anyone had the slightest inclination of the bond between us that would be it. We would be thrown to the dogs. I pretended I was fighting this war for righteousness, for France and for God. I fear it is just to cover my sins.
Yours,
Simon
My love
I can’t help thinking of us in another life where you had never caught my eye like you did that night. I would have gone through life never knowing that true heaven was when you looked at me. I would have been safe.
Yours in eternity,
Simon
My dearest
In another life you would have asked me to run away with you that night. In another life another version of me would said yes.
Yours infallibly,
Simon
My dear,
I’m sorry. It was not my choice to siege Toulouse. I was powerless to stop it. When I glimpsed your face through the city walls I knew I was done for. Forgive me,
Simon
Love
I would let you ruin me a thousand times over if you would just write. A word is all I need.
Simon
Love,
My mind keeps going back to the night we met. We were both so young and had no idea what this war would do to us. I wish I was still the person I was when I met you. I wish I had been brave enough to love you like you deserved.
Yours,
Simon
Raymond
I’m sure you’ve heard by now, I may as well be blunt with it.
The Pope making me Count of Toulouse.
I’m sorry.
I would beg for your forgiveness if I thought it would change a thing.
Simon
Raymond,
Give in now, while you can, while they we will leave you alive. Do not let yourself die for your stubborn nature.
Simon
Raymond,
Will you ever forgive me?
Simon
Raymond,
I like to believe in another life we could have been happy together. I’m scared to admit that maybe the fault is my own. That there is no version of me that would have let myself love you.
Simon
Raymond,
I’m sorry
Simon
The letters seemed to have stopped around the beginning of 1218. Simon De Monfort would die a short time later, besieging Raymond of Toulouse’s home city. Raymond died four years later, in 1222.